


If my childhood friend is gay, can I kiss her?

by Gabiwritesbandoriuwu



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Half cute gay disaster half gay panic, Light Angst, Shakespeare is abandoned for kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:28:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabiwritesbandoriuwu/pseuds/Gabiwritesbandoriuwu
Summary: Chisato wants to enjoy an innocent movie night with her childhood friend, but theres something she's curious about.
Relationships: Maruyama Aya/Shirasagi Chisato, Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	If my childhood friend is gay, can I kiss her?

**Author's Note:**

> At long last I finally use my ao3 account to post something! Ive written several (more than i'd like to admit) fics and stories and AUs about bandori (mostly kaochisa and ayachisakanon) yet I dont really feel confident with posting them so- here have the one that slipped through my strict criteria and i've allowed to see the light of day!
> 
> Its quite dumb but I liked it so enjoy~

Chisato had always known Kaoru.

She had to, the girl now turned woman acting on behalf of her strong personality and emotions, shifting wildly over the years (at times not to Chisato's taste), yet always faithful to her heart. As a kid, she was shy, anxious, struggled with communication and socialising- those traits of hers had to be acknowledged and understood for Chisato to be her friend. In high school, the girl had changed drastically; She was confident, outgoing, loud- her emotions had changed, but Kaoru was still fiercely loyal to them.

Chisato had always known and accepted Kaoru. It took her time and effort, but she felt pride in that.

Yet now- she felt as if there was a part of her childhood friend unclear to her.

"Hey Chisato, want some popcorn?"

Kaoru's deeply beautiful voice pulled Chisato out of her mind, worries from her reminiscing being left unsatisfied and bickering at her as she got her bearings back. 

Kaoru had invited her for a movie night at her home, empty ever since she moved out on her own to be closer to her new school. It was only normal, two friends meeting up for some fun times without parents, but Chisato's face burned with blush when Kaoru asked her to come. She had always been the one to invite Kaoru, in primary school out of pity at first, affection later on.

Over the years Kaoru had carved herself a spot of her own in Chisato's heart. And the blonde was all too aware of that fact.

Kaoru was most likely inviting her as a thank you for those years, as well as some innocent fun, for the lineup of films had the reoccurring name of a certain English writer, but Chisato's heart swelled at the thought of other, less likely possibilities.

"Chisato?"

The tall woman shook the popcorn filled bowl on the blondes face, rattling noise once again breaking the spell she was under.

"A-Ah right of course"

She took a small bunch out of obligation, Kaoru's sweet smile greeting her when she did so, giggling excitedly as she turned away to get the DVD player going. 

The overwhelming sweetness of the snack was deadly posion for Chisato's affection starved heart. But in all fairness she just prefered them salty.

"Um, Kaoru do you have salty popcorn too?"

The woman held her chin in exaggerated theatrical gesture of thought, closing her eyes.

"Mmmm there might be a bag left- I shall go on and make them for thee, my dear"

In the blink of an eye she got up, beelining for the woefully unused kitchen, bags of crisps and teabag boxes were all she could see over the counter.

"Oh, no Kaoru it's okay you don't need to make them"

The shining crimson eyes looked back at her, the elegantly gentle expression on her face making something burn in Chisato's chest. She held on to the edge of the door to the kitchen, even such a natural action bringing forth a, fleeting, pose.

"Chisato really, if you prefer them this way, its not a problem for me, as long as you're happy~"

Chisato knew exactly what the blush in her own face meant.

She nodded in response, daring not use her voice lest it reveal too much.

As Kaoru dived back deep into the kitchen, rumaging through badly organised drawers and cupboards, Chisato slipped back to her thoughts, the pounding movement in her chest spawning worries at every beat. She was her childhood friend- they were fairly close, and at least to herself, Kaoru was the person she was closest with.

But there were several things, after all, that Chisato didnt know about Kaoru.

What was she to her?

She was her friend.

Her heart ached.

Did she want to be her friend?

A curse more fitting to a sailor than to the fleeting prince of haneoka followed the wooden sound of a cupboard hitting something, presumably Kaoru's head from her pained voice.

She had never been, by nature, a terribly talented or skilled individual. Her flaws were completely human in nature, endearing and cute. She inspired affection from Chisato ever since the first time they met, but the little child that needed protection now had grown.

She didnt practice, work or grow out of obligation, like Chisato. She hadnt adopted her prince-like persona out of necessity or survival, like Chisato. She had managed to evade every single hurdle that she had ran into, Kaoru had bloomed into a beautiful rose in an unkempt, weedy garden.

And she did it for her friends- for Chisato.

The beeping of the microwave told Chisato Kaoru had managed to find the treasured popcorns despite of her surely terrible injuries, the purple haired woman peeking from the kitchen and sending a sweet, affirming smile to Chisato while she held a bag of ice against the side of her head.

"Three to four minutes before they're ready chii-chan! Hope you enjoy them, for not many of my enemies can say they've landed a blow on me~"

Not many women were able to get soft chuckles out of her like Kaoru did so frequently. It wasnt much, really, but who else would have gotten hurt looking to satisfy a selfish, whimsical request for their friend and then smile at them regardless?

She would have done it for Kaoru

But she knew the reason why her heart raced so fast when in her pressence.

What was she to Kaoru?

She was caring, gentle, friendly, sweet, admirable at times, brave (as long as it didnt involve heights), sweet, loyal and honest. It should be no wonder that Kaoru went to such lengths for Chisato. But then, it would also be normal that she uwent through similar effort for any other woman. Her fame at haneoka hadnt gone unnoticed by Chisato, or even any sapphic in Tokyo that was in high school, really. Saoru's plays with her theatre club garnered plenty of attention, the public at the feet of her stage filled with uniforms from all over the city. it was evident the reason why so many attended those, the reasons why every 14th of february Kaoru's locker was filled to the brim with letters and chocolates and roses. Chisato's heart wasnt the only one that beated for Kaoru, a fact that hadnt ever really bothered her too much.

Not until now, at least.

She shouldnt have anything to fear, Kaoru really wouldnt be interested on any of them in *that* way, would she?

Chisato would have known it first, they were childhood friends, their bond strengthened over years of nurturing, if she was like that- she would had told her first.

Right?

The loud alarm from the microwave echoed on the small apartment, thin walls vibrating ever so slightly with it. Kaoru hurried to get the alarm off, narrowly evading a hit with the counter, Chisato hiding a chuckle with her hand as the taller woman evaded it with the grace of a drunken swan.

"Fufu, no wonder neighbours complain about noise"

Kaoru's laugh in response distracted her from the delicate task of getting a burning hot bag of popcorn out, letting out an even louder shriek of surprise and pain as she almost threw the bag to the empty plastic bowl.

For Chisato to have fallen for such a dumbass would always remain a mystery for her, but she had no hurry to find out.

"A-aha yeah, but its the fault of these thin paper walls, and its not like i've ever brought someone to spend the night with like they say,"

Chisato's heart skipped several beats, used to the script that Kaoru's discourse always followed, now thrown back by something not mentioned in her imaginary booklet. Even if she didnt get an answer to the question that ached so terribly in her chest, she had to know more about Kaoru. Her heart divided, Chisato was for the first time in ages uncertain of what answer she wanted to hear.

"Right uhm, is it forbidden to uh, do those sorts of things here?"

The apartment was barely two rooms, kitchen half built into the living room which with the kotatsu turned into the bedroom at winter, Chisato having yet to see how Kaoru handled the lack of bedroom at summer. It was identical to those next to it, the budget apartment building cheaply arranged and built, housing usually students and travelers, so it wasnt unusual for them to have such strict rules.

"Well, I got told that loud sounds were off-limits past 8pm, so I do imagine such frivolous pursuits are hard to follow without noise"

Chisato's time with Aya was certainly proof of that- but that wasnt something Chisato expected the innocently sweet kao-chan to be knowledgeable about.

Kaoru finally threw herself on the small couch, leaving the bowl on her lap. Chisato had to drown out the thought of her being the one which warmed up Kaoru's lap, averting her gaze elsewhere.

"I-I see yeah," Chisato's voice came out uncontrolled, her well nurtured and trained tone now all over the place as nervousness overtook her, ",but if you were allowed to uh, bring someone, would it-?"

Kaoru's attention had been diverted to the cover of the first film in their list for that night, gazing at Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet with absorved expression, Chisato's words flying right over her head.

"Ah pardon- come again Chisato? Im afraid I didnt get that" Her deeply penetrating eyes were now fixated on her.

Chisato wished deep inside she could be as confident and careless with her question as Hina- just dropping it would be much easier, but being Chisato Shirasagi had never been anything but hard.

"nothing I was just w-wondering,, if you are like-"

Kaoru's eyes squinted, as if trying to focus inside Chisato's mind to single out the words she lacked, getting out the meaning of her question.

"Im like?"

The sigh that left Chisato's lips was out of frustration, but shared equally at her and at Kaoru's lack of perception.

"As in, if you could and were to bring someone in for the night-?"

Kaoru shook her palm in negation, "Oh no no, I cant do that I dont want to be kicked out"

It wasnt her fault, Chisato was the one barely making sense, but from every word out of Kaoru's mouth that wasnt those that she wanted, Chisato felt the urge to slap the woman in front of her grow further.

"Y-Yeah I know but hypothetically, who would you- like you know-?" The regression of her vocabulary was irking Chisato but at that point she was begging for an answer.

"Oh like what person would I bring?"

The anticipation pulled Chisato's heartstrings, Kaoru's misguided words and growing confused face ate at her patience.

"More like uh, what type of person"

Kaoru smirked, dramatic hand movement and self absorbed pose getting Chisato's attention.

"But of course, only those who hold a beautiful and fleetingly noble heart, for alas I must not let any evildoers inside~"

Chisato really was a fool for expecting any serious answer from Kaoru. Out of frustration, desperation or a mix of both, Chisato's hand reached for Kaoru's, softly holding on to it.  
Kaoru's expression shifted, slight blush brewing under her skin, but quickly gathering herself back, holding Chisato's hand back if only for good manners.

"No Kaoru as in- what,

she swallowed, throat running dry from nerves.

what gender..I mean"

Kaoru looked surprised, but not the kind of surprised face one would put when asked something so deeply personal and potentionally delicate as one's sexuality, but rather the type of surprised face a child would put if you asked him if he liked dinosaurs.

"Ah I see, same as everyone else then, theres only one answer, really"

Chisato couldnt quite make out if her heart was shattered in pieces or racing too fast, but the frustration she had been avoiding hit her like a wave.

"Oh, oh of course, I'm sorry if that was uncalled for I-"

"Mhm?" Kaoru looked at her with curiosity, not understanding her apology nor her reaction.

Confusion probably much bigger than Kaoru's seeped inside Chisato's chest, drowining out if only momentarily the loud beating of her heart.

"W-was I wrong? I thought that maybe you were like, you know-"

"I know?"

If before she had been confused by a change in script, this surely was now an entirely different paper.

"Like im sorry if it offended you I thought you were more like m-me as in-"

Her mouth spitted words and apologies without much thought put into them, her brain going into damage control mode when unsure of what to do. 

The warmth of Kaoru's hand over her shoulder drowned out all of that sound.

Chisato took a deep breath, rising her gaze at Kaoru, who looked at her with somewhat confused yet understanding eyes.

"What do you mean? I just said I like girls like everyone else, right?"

Chisato felt incredibly stupid, relieved, angered, frustrated and embarrassed at the same time, but the touch of Kaoru's hands was so needed and wanted that she pushed those emotions away.

Chisato took a deep breath, deeper than any she had taken before.

She had an answer.

One she should have been satisfied with already. The circumstances of how she got it were fairly questionable, Kaoru calling it "the only answer" and that "everyone else" was like that too, but her heart dwelled not on those matters. She had thought only knowing that part about Kaoru would satisfy her curiosity enough, but the racing of her heart clearly proved her wrong.

"I-I see then Kaoru, I wasnt mistaken then it seems"

Kaoru chuckled as she rubbed her thumb over the blonde's hand, knowing she wasnt the best at admitting her mistakes, were they important or a simple assumption.

"Fufu, no problem Chisato, however I do wonder what is it that you considered, what else would I like if not women?"

Chisato agreed with that statement, but she felt the reason behind Kaoru's reasonment was unlike hers.

"W-well you could have liked men"

"Do women like men?"

Kaoru looked as if though she had been slapped on the face. It was so simple for her, 2 and 2 had always been 4, but now Chisato was telling her that it could be 6.

"Kaoru, I truly mean no harm with my words, but do you jest? Most women are in fact attracted to men-"

Kaoru's face lit up slowly with embarrassment, retiring her hand from Chisato's to awkwardly and nervously scratch the back of her head, realising now at last the reason for Chisato's tone when asking and her following confusion.

"I-Is that so huh,,, I certainly know not what it is that brings such beautiful flowers to get involved with invasive weeds but I am not the judge-"

Chisato's tension dissipated with a soft giggle, much needed relief from the built up heavy atmosphere in the small room.

"Kaoru did you just compare men to weeds?"

The embarrassed face befitting of the old kao-chan avoided her gaze, blush growing further.

"Chii-chan,,, men are so hairy-"

Chisato's face muscles strained from her smile, natural, unpracticed, unrefined. She had adjusted herself through years of conditioning to smile in the most efficient, optimised way, the most mediatic and harmless of smiles. But the smirk her face was holding now was pure and unbridled, one that only Kaoru could bring out.

"fufufu,,, of course yeah"

Kaoru laughed along with her, until a visible moment of reminiscing brought a doubt to her mind.

"Wait but then- Chisato are you like-?"

"Kaoru, if you suggest I have anything but contempt for men I shall leave at once"

Kaoru sighed with visible relief, taking back her hand onto Chisato's. It might have just been wishful thinking, but Chisato could swear she held it more tightly.

"Im glad hehe, for even a prince such as I, uncharacteristically altruistic and kind with her people, has selfish desires at times"

Chisato's heart pounded with renewed energy, her entire body starting to warm up, face reddening and subtle shake on her hands. The air around them condensed, hot air entering and leaving Chisato's throat, her controlled breathing growing irregular.

She wanted an answer, but being close to it, Chisato feared. The short woman had endured many a trials until now, her childhood and adolescense filled with far too many hurdles and hard decisions, most taken for her and being left to deal with the consequences. But now she had an opportunity to act by herself- it was only a couple of words, nothing compared to her biggest struggles, yet demanding titanic effort. 

Chisato steeled herself, filling her breath with fateful words.

"S-so, Kaoru,"

"mhm?"

"W-who would you bring with you to spend the night with then?"

Kaoru's strong and delicate face held Chisato's own, the delicate and measured touch gentle and sweet. The red of her eyes had never appeared so handsome to Chisato before, its mercifully sweet light softly pouring over Chisato, gorgeous smile filling her face.

"You're here now, aren't you, Chisato?"

She hadnt planned for her body to melt in such a way, for every single worry deeply entrenched in her head to dissipate at once, for the tight knot in her chest to untie itself with such pleasurable ease, for small tears to fall from her eyes. She held on to Kaoru's hand over her cheek as she gently wiped away her tears, pushing her wonderfully relieving warmth against her.

"Mhm, yes, I am,"

They stayed like that in silence for god knows how much time. It could have been three seconds, five minutes, an hour or millenia, but Chisato enjoyed every single instant.  
She wished it was the latter, but the spell was fleeting, reaching a conclusion with Kaoru's words.

"It's not 8pm yet"

Kaoru pressed her soft lips against chisato's, the remaining sweet taste of popcorns filling her with the most wonderful of feelings.


End file.
